Confession time … I majorly slacked on this blog this summer but not on my goals. I think the reason I stopped writing the blog is tied up with the reason that I started it. I started it because I was depressed. I was in one of the deepest depressions of my life and writing about it along with support of friends and loved ones helped me crawl out of it. Not only did I crawl out of it but I was so far beyond it. So much so that I didn’t want to come back here and was willing to let the blog fall away as just another chapter in my life.
This morning and most of last night I legitimately found myself back at the brink of that deep depression. It’s of an entirely different nature this time but it is here and so I am back and I think this time I will be back for a while.
The results of last night’s election sent me into a deep spiral. I think they did for many people. It’s not just that now we have given a man who can’t be trusted with his own twitter account the nuclear destruction codes … it’s more about what he represents.
He ran a campaign that blamed all of America’s problems on immigrants, people of color, women, and the LGBT community. (I’m sure there’s more.) And people, a lot of people voted for him. He was caught on tape talking about assaulting women like it was the 1950s … and a lot of people voted for him. He went after the family of a fallen soldier who happened to be Muslim … and a lot of people voted for him. He said people obtaining an abortion legally “should be punished” and his running mate Mike Pence tried to pass a law requiring fetal burial no matter the circumstances of the loss or how far along in the pregnancy it was and a lot of people voted for them. He made fun of people with disabilities. He wants to go after all of the people in our LGBTQ communities. He called Mexicans rapists. He is a threat to everything this country is supposed to cherish … and a lot of people voted for him. He was endorsed by the KKK and people voted for him.
I’m not entirely happy with people who lean left and decided to vote third party or protest and not vote for president. But whether or not that would’ve changed the presidency is not the point. It’s not the thing that scares me. What scares me are the numbers of people who voted for Trump whole-heartedly and willingly.
There was not a repudiation of America’s own homegrown Hitler and his ideals. A little known fact about Hitler – the Nazis were elected, Hitler was not. Enough Nazis were in power to create the position of Chancellor for Hitler. To top it off, the climate that led to Nazi Germany was one plagued with famine and economic depression. Part of the allure of the Nazis was that they offered stability … though monstrous inhuman means.
To contrast the American economy has been on the upswing. Unemployment has been halved during Obama’s presidency. We are no where near as desperate as the people of post-WWI Germany paying off reparations. Unlike Nazi Germany, the US is not being driven to racism, sexism, and bigotry by an economic depression. The US is being driven by racism, sexism, and bigotry to an economic depression and to the destruction of our most basic ideals as Americans. This isn’t a joke. This isn’t a reality show. This is what a very wide margin of Americans wanted.
As an advocate for Civil Rights, this is hugely depressing. As a woman, this is hugely depressing. As a human being, this is hugely depressing. As an American, I feel lost and powerless.
I’m turning to the blog to sort out my feelings, to bring myself back from the brink, and to formulate a plan on how to move forward.
It’s looking like Hillary Clinton won the popular vote, and that fact is heartening. Heartening that there are slightly more people who aren’t racist sexist bigoted puppets.
I donate every month to Planned Parenthood, NPR, and the Humane Society. I’m a member of my local Black Lives Matter Chapter. I’m a member of the ACLU. I’m a member of the League of Women Voters. But admittedly other than posting publicly in support of those groups and donating money to them, I’ve not been an “active” member.
While I wallow in my bed, watching The West Wing and wishing it were real, daydreaming about moving to New Zealand (Canada is too close) … mourning the loss of what I had hoped America was … mourning what America is … feeling exhausted and empty and numb … anger wells up in my belly and through my throat choking off angry tears.
Suffragettes (both black and white) were beaten in the streets and imprisoned and force fed. Susan B. Anthony never saw a woman vote legally in the United States but she fought. Civil Rights activists were beaten, blown up, murdered, and intimidated while trying to exercise their legal rights.
I will fight like hell. I will not be silenced. If they try to bury me, I will grow stronger. I will fight for my own rights and for the rights of others because what else is left? I’m an American and this is my home. I will fight for the promise of of what America is supposed to be and against the fascism of Donald Trump, Mike Pence, and all who follow them.
I encourage anyone else who feels powerless to do the same. This blog is active again and will probably catalogue political viewpoints as well as self-love. To me they are one in the same now.
Erin Who Is (Not sobbing in bed this morning and is totally) Not Crazy
P.S. Some articles if you’re interested in becoming active in your community:
Mother Jones: http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2016/11/election-hate-trump-president-racism
Black Lives Matter: https://policy.m4bl.org/
Planned Parenthood: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/
American Civil Liberties Union: https://www.aclu.org/
Human Rights Campaign: http://www.hrc.org
League of Women Voters: http://lwv.org/